BlueScreen
by imasara
Summary: [SasuxNaru] Naruto’s PC crashed down again. In his fear for his most important files he decides to phone the technical support but the person who is supposed to help him seems to be the most arrogant person the he had ever talked to… Lemon,Language,Humor
1. STOP: N00B 413RT!

**BlueScreen**

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**Disclaimer**: Guess what... I don't own Naruto... And if I earned money with my stories, I would buy a new PC… XP**

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Pairing (SemexUke)**

: SasukexNaruto

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**Rated**: M for later chapters

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**Summary**: Naruto's PC crashed down again. In his fear for his most important files he decides to phone the technical support but the person who is supposed to help him seems to be the most arrogant person the kitsune vessel had ever talked to… 

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**STOP: N00B 413RT!**

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„No way, not again!" Naruto shouted angrily. His monitor was showing him a clear, lurid dark blue screen. He just wanted to throw his whole PC system out off the window. "Where's Sai when I need him?!" The blond whined. Sai was the only one who was familiar with PCs and willing to help him with his own PC. Naruto had asked Shikamaru before, whose sole reply was "It's too troublesome." The fox vessel didn't know anything about computers. He only knew how to boot the system and how to switch it off, and he needed several hours just to figure that out. No, Naruto wasn't a computer freak and in fact he hated those little demonic things (computers). They were mean and he could swear that they were invented to annoy the shit out of everybody they hated. It was obvious that his computer had a soul, a life and did as it pleased; not bothering to listen to Naruto's commands. His computer hated him. TT

Sai wasn't there to take care of the now blue screen and Naruto began to panic. He feared for his files, his computer and, then suddenly, he remembered something which was nearly as important as his life: his dissertation!

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" The blond ran around in circles as if he was trying to run away. He had written more than 50 pages so far and he had to give his dissertation to his professor soon, so not only was he in a hurry to write it but he also didn't remember each and every sentence he had written so far. To make things worse, since Naruto wasn't familiar with PCs at all he didn't do any backup. "This is a disaster!" the blond shouted as his pace picked up. From above it looked like the small boy was doing crop circles (well, if there were a cornfield in his living room…)

Suddenly Naruto's pace slowed down until he came to a halt, his eyes widening as an idea hit him. Didn't Sai say something about a technical support group where he worked for? Naruto quickly grabbed his phone; dialling the number Sai had given him some time before.

The blond listened to the dial tone, it sounded once, twice; then finally the phone was answered.

"Microsoft technical support group, Uchiha Sasuke speaking, how may I help you?" Naruto hesitated to answer when he heard the unfamiliar voice. He thought Sai had given him his direct access.

"Umm… Can I speak to Sai?"

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**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

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It's my first day working for the technical support group and they said that I would have to substitute for a co-worker first. He was ill or something, I didn't really pay attention to what they said. I sat down; it was one of those small office booths, consisting of three walls and a computer in front of me. I put on my headphones and awaited the first call.

Finally the phone rang. I answered it, trying to sound as indifferent as possible. They told us that most of the persons who called the technical support group would be very excited, so we had to remain calm to soothe them… well, that's at least the conclusion I came to. I didn't really pay much attention to what they were saying. Some people were surprised when they heard that I got that job because of that, but since I wasn't paying much attention to them I didn't really care.

"Microsoft technical support group, Uchiha Sasuke speaking, how may I help you?" Now, aren't I polite? I was proud of myself for answering the phone in such a polite way, it was almost elegant, I thought. However, I didn't expect that answer. A shy voice asked me whether he could speak to Sai. 'Hey, it's me you're talking to! I can answer your questions even when I'm not listening, so come on; give me a chance!'

I tried to remain calm as I asked politely 'Could you please tell me his surname then?' That idiot didn't expect me to know everyone in this building, did he? I won't be replaced by anyone! I'm far better than they are!!!

I felt my eyebrow twitch when he replied in a confused voice that he didn't know his surname. I can't believe that he wanted to replace me with a guy whose surname was unknown to him. Well then dobe, you have to deal with me. In my mind I saw myself sticking my tongue out at the stranger I was talking to. XP

"Then we do have a problem, don't we moron?" I asked sarcastically. The boy on the other end of the line snapped immediately, "Don't call me moron, you … moron!" I chuckled lightly when he repeated my words. "Amazingly, you are so unbelievable creative," again my voice was filled with sarcasm. "You—", he started again but I cut his sentence short. "Didn't you phone because you had a problem with your computer?!" I asked; changing the topic of our conversation since my superior started to look at me threateningly. Despite the fact it was fun to get under the dobe's skin, I needed this job.

He seemed to be taken aback when he started to form another sentence, "Umm… yeah, I do have a problem with my PC… How did you know?"

'How stupid is he?' I thought when I simply replied "Because you've phoned the technical support group…" I looked around to see my superior had gone before I finished my sentence "… Dobe." Hell, that was too much fun.

Again, he started to shout at me. I really enjoyed my little teasing game when I saw my superior came back to check on me. Can't he just leave me alone? I'm utterly capable to do my work by myself … and enjoy myself a little bit.

"So, please describe your problem, sir," I stated politely. "What are you?! Do you have a split personality or something?!" he snapped back at me. 'Energetic, isn't he?' I thought before I replied shortly "Just tell me about the problem you have with your computer," my superior didn't seem to trust me at all and I didn't want him to overhear me arguing with a customer.

The stranger inhaled to calm himself down I assumed, before he replied, "I got a Bluescreen," he paused and I waited for him to continue. When I realised that he wasn't going to continue his sentence to explain which Bluescreen he got, I decided to speak again.

"What does it read?" I asked calmly. "Umm… PFNLISTCORRUPTPFNLISTCORRUPT," he replied; confusion clearly evident in his voice.

I typed the error message he told me in my PC program to find a solution for his problem. After a short while I knew what to do.

"Alright, what's your operating system?" I asked my final question.

"Operating … system?" he asked me in return, obviously he didn't know what I was talking about.

'This is going to be a long day…' I sighed. "Complete my following sentence: I use Windows …" I really hoped he would be able to tell me which Windows version he was using but reality hit me hard when he replied "How am I supposed to know which Windows version you are using?!"

I rubbed my temples to soothe my beginning headache. 'He really is a dobe.'

"Usuratonkachi, I wanted to know which Windows version YOU are using!" I heard a gasp on the other end of the line. "Wow, you're good! How did you know I was using Windows anyway?" I looked up at the sign in front of me which read 'Microsoft technical support group' before I replied shortly "I just guessed. So which version are you using?"

"Windows XP," my interlocutor replied. 'Hell, I actually got a useful answer!' I beamed inwardly.

"Alright," I typed his answer into my system to reveal the appropriate solution. "First, I want you to boot your PC again and then…" I was stunned when I realised that the guy had hung up on me. 'Wtf? He can't be _such_ a moron, can he? Anyway, he'll call back soon… in 3… 2… 1…' My phone rang again, 'Mine!' I was somehow excited to phone with him again, it just felt like I've just won an Ebay auction for a very rare article. I answered the phone again and cleared my throat.

"Microsoft technical support group, Uchiha Sasuke speaking, how may I help you?" I couldn't hide my smirk as I heard a familiar voice, "Gosh darn it! You know, that didn't help at all!" "Of course it didn't," I replied coolly, "You didn't let me finish my sentence." The boy on the other end of the line turned silent; seemingly embarrassed.

"Alright then, don't hang up on me again unless I say so, got it dobe?" I paused to hear him whisper an embarrassed "Y-yes…"

'This is almost like telephone sex,' I zoned out, 'I'm the master and he's the slave, similar to a dog.' I snickered as I imagined me telling him 'Go, get the paper for daddy!'

I was brought back to reality when I heard him yelling at me "Hey! Bastard! Are you alive?"

"Sure I am and don't call me bastard, dobe!" I took a deep breath to get rid of the thoughts I just had had. "Alright this is what you have to do: First I want you to push on the start key on your keyboard, it's the one with the windows logo. Then click on 'Run'. Got that?"

"Yes…" came his hesitant reply.

"Good. Next, type into the now open window 'msconfig' and press the enter key on your keyboard. You will now see a new window open up. Choose 'Systemstart' and deactivate any anti virus program, firewalls and backup programs."

"You are a hacker, aren't you?!" he asked suspiciously, "I won't fall for that! Sai had told me everything about you! Those programs protect me from you!"

"They're using too much of your RAM capability. You need to get rid of every program that starts automatically and uninstall them, dobe!"

Why did I choose to tell him the easiest way to get rid of his problem when he wasn't even listening to what I'm saying? If I had told him to uninstall the driver for his graphics card, sound card and his modem and download updated drivers from the official websites, he wouldn't have understood a single word at all. I had to choose one solution and this was the one that seemed to be the most appropriate one.

"Hey… Bastard!" My head shot up when I heard him calling me a bastard. "Don't call me bastard!" I snapped back before I heard him beam happily, "Thank you. It worked…" I fought back a blush. The way he thanked me was so unbelievable cute, it almost made my heart stop.

"You're welcome," I replied in a smooth voice and this time I could have sworn I heard him blush. "Umm… can I ask you one last question?" he asked and I wondered what was wrong. "Anytime; what is it?" I replied. "Why is my screen black now?" I rubbed my temples again. This was going to be a long day.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Oh how great it is to be insomniac. Well, I hope you liked the story so far. For those who want to know about the computer problem Naruto had: PFN is the abbreviation for "Page Frame Number" (Despite the fact that it could also mean 'Pound (a) fuckable Naruto)' and describes the arrangement of each RAM page, in which program commands run or drivers work in. Usually one page is 4 KB big and the PFN List allows access to each single page. If now a driver or a program tries to exceed that limit a couple of times, you'll see this Bluescreen. It might sound pretty complicated first but it's rather simple, the programs or drivers try to use more RAM capability than they are allowed to, in a result this Bluescreen will show up.  
…  
As for the title, "STOP: N00B 413RT!", I assume you have read the word N00B (noob) a couple of times now. It describes a person who isn't familiar with something (in this case, computers). "413RT" just means "Alert" (4 A; 1 L; 3 E)  
…  
Is there anything else I might need to explain? Hmm, I guess not.  
See you

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	2. STOP: FATAL ENCOUNTER!

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**STOP: FATAL ENCOUNTER!**

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Sasuke sighed exhaustedly; the guy on the phone was exasperating him. After he had solved his customer's main problem, a Bluescreen, a new problem occurred. Naruto's screen wasn't dark blue anymore but black! The raven haired man took a deep breath, he had already tried several trouble shootings but none seem to solve the other one's new problem. Then suddenly he remembered the last possible solution.

"Move your mouse," the raven demanded. Naruto blinked before he replied in confusion, "I have a cat so I don't think I have any mice." Sasuke felt the sudden urge to hit his head against the wall in front of him. 'Oh come on, idiot! Think for once!' his mind shouted at the blond on the other end of the line. Unfortunately, Naruto couldn't read the raven's mind so he didn't know that the dark haired male was choking him mentally for being so clueless.

"Dobe, it might be the screensaver! Move your computer mouse!" Sasuke hissed in the phone. Naruto decided to ignore the insult — at least this time. He was too curious to find out whether his computer would work again. "It works! It works! IT WORKS!!!" beamed the overly happy voice on the other end of Sasuke's line. 'It's always the easiest solution,' the Uchiha sighed again, but this time it was because he was happy that he had solved his costumer's problems. He would have looked stupid if he hadn't figured the problems out. After all it was his job to debug computers.

"I'm glad everything works now," the raven haired man said in a smooth voice, almost purring. Naruto fought back a blush upon hearing his saviour's voice. It was almost… seductive…?! The blond shook his head. Why the hell was he thinking about the other man like this?! "Umm… yeah, me too," Naruto replied shyly, unable to get rid of the images that occurred in his head now. With a last 'Thank you very much' and a final 'Goodbye' both hang up, unable to know that this won't be their last conversation.

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**Time skip **(2 weeks later)

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"Oh come on! This can't be so difficult!" a loud yell was heard throughout the building in which Uchiha Sasuke worked in. "… What do you mean 'You don't have computer'?" The raven haired man obviously wasn't in a very good mood. "You wanted to print something, isn't that correct?" The Uchiha attracted his co-workers' attention as his yell got louder. "What the fuck?! You thought you didn't need a PC to print something?! How stupid are you?! … No, it's not enough to only buy a printer!!! YOU. NEED. A. PC. TO. PRINT. SOMETHING. OUT!!! Got it, dumbass?! … Yeah, fuck you too! BYE!!!" the raven haired man yelled a final time before he put the phone down violently. The usual calm and collected man huffed; today wasn't his day, he had overslept, the bus was late and crowded, someone had stolen his wallet in that crowded vehicle, the policemen were too stupid to understand anything and, last but not least, the lift was out of order, which meant he had to use the stairs to the thirteenth floor.  
No, today wasn't Sasuke's day at all and something told him, it would even get worse.

"UCHIHA!!!" a loud demanding yell was heard out of another office. Sasuke knew that voice very well. 'Here it comes…' the raven sighed exhausted.

"UCHIHA! INTO MY OFFICE! NOW!!!" if possible, they yell got even louder.

Said man stood up slowly and headed towards the office where the deafening shouts were coming from.

"You called for me, Hasegawa-shachou?" Sasuke asked politely while he took a low bow, showing his respect for the older man.

"Obviously I did!!!" his superior continued shouting at him, making the young man wonder what he did wrong. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Uchiha?!" the older male asked; his voice stern and demanding, forcing the younger one to reply.

"Standing here because you called me, I guess…" Sasuke wasn't sure what the other man wanted to know. Was he called into that office because he was late today? Was he there because he glued a woman's hands on her keyboard because she kept on grabbing his ass? Or maybe he was there because he ate his superior's cookies earlier that day?

"I didn't asked for that, you moron!!!" the older man shouted again; that was obviously not the answer his superior wanted to hear. "I'm talking about the way you're treating your costumers!"

'So it isn't because of the cookies…' Sasuke merely thought as he nodded his head to fake his attention.

"Do you know that I've received twenty complaints about you! TWENTY! And you've been working here for only two weeks!" his superior rambled on as he blamed the Uchiha for the company's drastic loss of reputation. Sasuke nodded in agreement, he wasn't listening anyway. He knew that his superior was blaming him for anything and everything right now; there wasn't any point in arguing with the older male, he was too stubborn and Sasuke didn't want to get fired.

"That's why, Uchiha, …" the older man calmed down a little bit, although his voice remained stern, "You'll go to a psychiatrist for the next six month, maybe even longer, starting tomorrow at 6 p.m. Here's the address and the information on the appointment I've made for you."

Sasuke suddenly realised what the man was talking about. Psychiatrist… he… appointment… six months?! He stopped his agreeing nodding immediately.

"Wait! What? But why do I have to go to a psychiatrist?!" the young Uchiha asked angrily.

The older man's eyebrow twitched nervously while his enragement rose again. "You heard me, Uchiha! You'll go to a psychiatrist if you want to keep your job! And don't think I won't notice it if you don't go there! I'm watching you, Uchiha Sasuke!!! And now, go back to work!!!" The older man shouted before he kicked the younger one out of his office, leaving no room for arguments.

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**Naruto's P.O.V.**

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Waah! Unbelievable but true! Today was the day! THAT day! The holy day I'd been looking forward to for so long. I would finally receive my diploma!

My dissertation was excellent, my professor said. Despite the fact that it was quite short, he liked it a lot. It was analytical, logical and well structured; all in all it was perfect, if I may say that. He liked my theories about the different meanings of dreams and the possible effects they might have on a person.

I looked in the mirror, searching for anything that dared to ruin my perfect look. 'So today,' I thought as I straightened my clothes, 'I'll finally become a psychiatrist.'

When I was satisfied with my appearance I walked out of my small flat. While I locked the door I wondered whether I could move to a bigger flat soon. That place was just too small. Well after all, I've been a student up to now.

I sighed softly. Somehow I got nostalgic upon realising that everything would change now. I wouldn't be a student any longer instead I would be a real psychiatrist. I would have to help my patients very soon and …  
I imagined my near future. How would it be like?

Suddenly I remembered. "FUCK!" I screamed as I realised I was going to be late to receive my diploma.

I cursed inwardly for daydreaming and ran as fast as I could.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

First I want to start with some review responses (Thank you all for your support, I LOVE YOU! )

- **Banana Bunking**: 533?! 3v3ry0n3 c4n 63 1337! 101!  
- **Get Your Own Hanyou**: 101! I'm glad you liked it. D  
- **Ookami Aya**: I've got some tricks up my sleeve, so this is going to be M quite soon. +fufufu+  
- **mikoamaya-hikari**: Sasuke is daydreaming a lot since he hardly ever listens to anybody... That surely makes him like Shikamaru...  
- **Sugar Crazed Duckie**: I'm not being sarcastic about me being insomniac. It's 1.50 a.m. here right now and I'm not sleepy at all. Usually I go to sleep at about 3 a.m. and wake up soon afterwards. It truly sucks.  
- **Ronnie-chan**: I'm glad you like it. Stay tuned! D  
- **NinjaoftheDarkness**: No, it isn't a oneshot. Actually I'm not quite sure how many chapter I have to write until the story is finished. Well, the more fun it is then. )  
- **Bloody-Plunder**: Thank you I promise you, they will meet soon.  
- **sakuragurl**: Here you are. Chapter no. 2  
- **tysonandkaiforever**: I will! Promise!  
- **theallpowerfullme**: I hope you've read them by now... Otherwise I would be a sad panda (I couldn't help myself to write this... Sorry.)

Thank you all for your reviews and ratings (love you, love you, love you!!!) :D  
Hmm… Is there anything I need to explain in this chapter?  
Shachou is the president of a company, so just for a better explanation.  
Well, yeah, poor Sasuke got caught after all. And I bet you all know the psychiatrist he has to go to… Hehe.

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	3. STOP: UNKNOWN LOVE ERROR!

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**STOP: UNKNOWN LOVE ERROR!**

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"Congratulations, everyone," the man in front of several students exclaimed "You've all passed!" Suddenly and without any warning the door flew open, revealing a panting blond boy. "I'm… sorry sensei, I'm… late," Naruto said under his attempts to return his breathing to a normal one again. The professor who stood in front of the class just a few moments ago was now running towards the young blond boy. "Naruto-kun," the older man hugged his student tightly, maybe too tightly since Naruto's breathing was cut short. "Iruka-sensei… You're… SUFFOCATING… ME!!!" "Oh, sorry," Iruka let go of the whiskered boy who immediately gasped for breath again. "I'm happy that you've made it here, Naruto," a smile graced the older man's face before he turned his attention back towards the rest of the class.

"Congratulations! You are all official psychiatrists now. Remember the most important aim I want you to follow: You're not to judge a person, you're to help them! I want you to dedicate your whole being to your patient's well-being. I want you to make a vow that you'll follow this path with the sole purpose to help your patients. Now, please step forward when I call your name and receive your diploma."

One by one they went to the professor as he called their names.

"Uzumaki Naruto!" The blonde's head shot up, his attention only directed towards his teacher.

"Yes!" the whiskered boy headed towards Iruka, his pace picked up in anticipation. A few seconds later, the blond stood in front of his professor. "Congratulation, Naruto. You did very well," with that he handed Naruto his diploma. The fox vessel's face brightened up, a big smile graced his features. "Tha-Thank you… Iruka-sensei," the young man stuttered, realising that he wasn't a student anymore and Iruka wasn't his professor any longer. The blond grasped the proof that he had achieved his goal tightly, as if he didn't want it to disappear. He had fulfilled his desire, he was now a psychiatrist.

Soon after everyone had received their diploma, they left to celebrate their success, chatting with each other as they hurriedly left the classroom where they used to be for so many years. Happiness and anticipation were the most common feelings that day.

Just as Naruto wanted to leave Iruka called him back again, "Naruto", he started, "I want you to go to this address." The older man gave him a small card. The blond looked at it for a brief moment before he looked at his ex-teacher again.

"What is this?" he asked confused. "It's the address of a friend of mine. He's a psychiatrist as well and has hanged out his own shingle. I want you to assist him for a while. Despite the fact that you know the theory, I want you to get practical experience as well."

Naruto stared in shock, his mouth wide open. "No! I want to hang out my own shingle! Now! I don't want to assist anyone! I want to do it on my own! Iruka-sensei, this is so mean of you! I can—"

Before the kitsune vessel could complain even more, Iruka cut him off. "Naruto!" the older man's voice was stern, "I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry. But in fact I gave you his card because he's a luminary in his area and you were my best student. I thought it would be a great experience for you; beside, you could also hang out your own shingle even faster after you've assisted him, and you can even say 'I was Hatake Kakashi's assistant.'"

Naruto's eyes widened comically, "Did- Did you just say… Hatake Kakashi?"  
Iruka smiled, knowing that the fox boy wouldn't decline now. "I did," he said to the younger one sweetly. "Oh, Iruka-sensei, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"  
Naruto jumped up and down in his joy.

Hatake Kakashi was indeed a luminary in his area. He had read several books by him and admired him since he heard his name for the first time.

"Hahaha, Naruto! You'll never change, will you?" Iruka asked amusedly. "Now go to him, Naruto, and listen to what he says." With that Iruka said good bye to Naruto, watching as he jumped out of the class.

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**At Kakashi's office**

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"Next one," a young woman said in a bored voice when suddenly an orange blur rushed towards her. "Hello!" Naruto chirped happily, "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I'm 24 years old, I like ramen and I want to speak to Hatake Kakashi. You see, I've just received my diploma and since I was the class winner my teacher said I should assist Hatake-sensei. Isn't that great? Where is he? Is he in there? HATAAAAAAAKE-SENSEEEEEEEIIIIII!!!" the blond exclaimed overjoyed, exited and maybe a little hyperactive.

"Calm down, will you?" the receptionist tried to shush him but the young blond ignored her and went straight into Kakashi's office, oblivious to her protests and forgetting his manners completely. He was way too exited to realise anything beside the fact that he was going to meet the person he admired most, Hatake Kakashi.

"Hatake-sensei, I'm—," Naruto started but was cut off immediately, "very rude. I see, you must be Uzumaki Naruto, hn?" the silver haired man in front of him finished the blonde's sentence, his eyes never leaving the small orange book he was reading.

"I'm sorry, sensei. I guess, I was a little exited to meet you," the blond rubbed the back of his head, a habit he had when he was extremely nervous and feeling uncomfortable.

"It's alright. Come to my office at 2 p.m. tomorrow, you'll watch me and learn for six hours every day, starting tomorrow. Got it?" Naruto nodded; surprised that Kakashi was so cocky towards him. "Good and now go…" with that the silver haired man practically shooed him away.

Naruto grumbled but got out anyway. The meeting with his new superior/teacher lasted only for 90 seconds. Slowly but surely, the kitsune vessel doubted whether Kakashi's amazing reputation as being the best in his area was justified.

The next day went pretty much like their first meeting. Kakashi continued reading his small orange book 'Icha Ichia Paradise' (even when he was talking to a patient) and Naruto…  
Well, the blond wasn't really able to figure out what he was supposed to learn from the infamous Hatake Kakashi; maybe reading porn while looking indifferent when you're talking to other people? Naruto didn't know and got bored soon, zoning out completely.

"Oi! Oi, Naruto!" Kakashi called out. He had tried to get the blonde's attention for the last fifteen minutes yet the whiskered boy wouldn't pay any attention to him. Sighing, the silver haired luminary did the only thing he could think of; hitting the blond on the head.

"Ouch! Hatake-sensei, what was that for?" Naruto whined, rubbing his abused head. "You didn't pay attention! I called you a couple of times because I wanted you to listen to me!" Kakashi retorted. "The next patient is," the scarecrow flipped through his documents, "Mr Uchiha. His superior made an appointment for him since he seems to have problems regarding his behaviour towards other people."  
'Uchiha, hm?' the blond thought, trying to remember why the name sounded so familiar to him.

"It's two minutes to six p.m." The silver haired man pulled the younger one out of his thoughts. "He should be here soon." Kakashi concluded before he turned over the page of his beloved small Make out Paradise.  
Finally the clock struck six o'clock and Naruto's gaze rested on the door, awaiting the next patient. Suddenly the door flew open, revealing a very irritated young man.

Naruto just sat there as though he was frozen. He gasped slightly as he regarded the young man in the door frame. Jet black hair and coal eyes contrasted with his pale skin just perfectly, giving him a unique beauty that could be only found in tales. The blonde's eyes took every inch of the male in front of him in, concluding that the stranger was slightly taller than him. 'He's hot,' Naruto thought as he continued to stare at the stranger in awe when Kakashi all of a sudden cleared his throat, pulling the blond back to reality.

"Mr Uchiha," the silver haired man started, "Have a seat, please." Naruto fidgeted nervously as the handsome young man walked towards them.

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**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

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'So annoying! Oh so damn fucking ANNOYING!!!' that was my first thought when I arrived at the psychiatrist's office. It was such nonsense, and I repeated to complain over and over again. I wasn't insane, damn it! Why did I have to go to a psychiatrist?!

I walked up the stairs, trying to vent my anger by running up the stairs. However, it didn't work and so I stood in front of the receptionist, scowling at her. If she had dared to scowl back at me, I would have vented my wrath on her. Yet, she only shrunk at my scowl. I turned my scowl towards the clock at the wall, daring it to scowl back (Oo)  
When it didn't scowl back at me and struck six o'clock instead, I stomped into the office that read "Hatake Kakashi". That damn bastard who was supposed to point out my oh-so-wrong mistakes. I was perfection incarnated, damn it!

The door flew open and my scowl disappeared all of a sudden. Why? Because the first thing I saw was a shy blond boy who was staring at me from head to toe. I did the same as I regarded his lithe figure. Blond hair that was just as bright as the sun itself and sky blue eyes contrasted with his tan skin. Three whiskered lines on each cheek gave him a rather cute animal look, like a cat or something.

I tried my best to hide my smirk as he turned away slightly, blushing in a dark crimson red and resembling a tomato (did I mention that tomatoes are my favourite foods? God, he looked so eatable that I wanted to pounce on to him immediately.)

I watched him fidgeting as I walked closer to him and again I tried to hide my smirk. His nervous blushing face was so cute. 'Why are you looking away, dobe?' I heard myself asking him mentally. 'You don't have to be so shy. If you are blushing like that when I'm dressed, what will you do when I'm naked? I look even better without my clothes, you know?' I zoned out completely, envision what would happen once we were both naked.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Woohoo! Thanks for all the reviews. It seems as though "Bluescreen" is my most popular story with you.

Well then, shall we start to explain some things?

Unbelievable but true, Naruto was the class winner. I wanted him to be very good in something when he meets Sasuke again, so he can have his revenge for being called a dobe when it came to computers. Everyone has something their very good in, so it's pointless to tear someone to pieces just because they aren't as good in something as someone else. So what? Everyone might end up being the one who doesn't know anything.

Next; maybe you wondered why I wrote "Hatake-sensei" although he isn't really a teacher to Naruto but a psychiatrist. Well you see, there are various jobs that can gain you the suffix "-sensei". The best known job is a teacher, of course. But also artists and, yes, even doctors can be called "sensei" (when they're working in a team, of course… Who should call them like that if there aren't any people around, huh?)  
So in this case, Naruto assists Kakashi, which means that Kakashi is his superior somehow.  
Just in case you didn't know.

I know that psychiatrists get practical experience through their studies but for the story's sake I had to ignore that fact. Don't blame me but it wouldn't have made any sense if Naruto had his own office and so on. It would have been ridiculous. Despite the fact that Sasuke's superior had made the appointment when Naruto was still a student officially.  
Don't worry; I'll get rid of Kakashi as soon as he disturbs me. Probably an accident or something like that would be best… (Kakashi: shriek!)

Err… what else, what else? Let's see. Sasuke cusses a lot, doesn't he? Oh well. I can't scold him, so I will scold the clock instead. You see, that's why I hardly ever get the chance to read my stories during my English lessons. If we get the task to write something I usually end up writing something about straws, gays, murder or a dog named Fluffy. Well, it depends on the task, of course. But since I still fulfil the tasks, my English teacher can't give me a bad mark. I remember one story we should finish (you know, an "open end" story).  
It was about a guy who watched a football match and was running late to his date afterwards. He hailed a taxi and realised that he forgot his wallet. Fortunately, he saw his girlfriend standing in front of a restaurant and he asked her whether she could lend him some money. That was where the original story ended and I wrote that she couldn't lend him any money since she only had straws. The man blamed his girlfriend and argued with her when the taxi driver made the offer that if he couldn't pay him with money, he could pay him off with other things and then he winked at him. Perverted little taxi driver! Of course I read it out and my English teacher looked rather embarrassed as I did so (fufufu).  
Oh, how I like watching other people's emotions. The day before yesterday (Friday) I was supposed to say what you can do in the basement (great task, I know). I said the first thing that came to my mind "You can hide your dead bodies there." Actually it's based on "Everyone has a skeleton in their closet" which means "Jeder hat eine Leiche im Kellar" ( "Everyone has a dead body in their basement")

Oh well, I guess I'm the most weird person in my class.

They say 'still waters run deep', right? I really look rather harmless but it's dangerous to give me a task where I am supposed to write or draw something. Yes, I even do things like that in my exams. As long as I fulfil the task…

Fear my evil (perverted) homework of doom…

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	4. STOP: UNZIP!

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**STOP: UN.ZIP!**

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"So, Mr Uchiha," Kakashi started as he looked for a sheet of paper and a pen to take notes, his eyes never leaving his precious Icha Icha Paradise. "Do you know why you are here?" the psychiatrist asked, his right hand held the pen, ready to take some notes, while the left one refused to let go of the small orange book. 'Idiot,' Sasuke thought, 'it's as if he's possessed by that book.'

"To answer your question: I don't really know why I am here," the raven glared at the scarecrow before he glanced at the blond boy, sitting across from him, for a mere second. "But I have an idea why I am here," he concluded his answer, thinking about the things he could do with the blond by now.

Kakashi looked up from his Make out Paradise for a brief second, regarding the scene in front of his very own eyes, only to resume reading his beloved novel. His pen moved over the paper quickly as he wrote 'Sasuke+Naruto♥? Better watch them…'

"So you're saying you don't know why you're here?" Kakashi asked in a bored voice. 'To screw your assistant?' The raven haired young male thought leisurely, but instead answered with a simple "No."

The older man sighed. He was sure that his new patient knew very well why he was in Kakashi's office, yet he decided to play dumb. "Your superior called me. He said there were some complaints about your behaviour towards your customers. Do you want to say anything regarding that subject?" 'That sounds like I was put in detention,' the stoic young man thought. "I treated them like I treat any other person. We're supposed to treat everyone the same at work, and that's what I did. There's nothing more I need to tell you." Sasuke retorted.

"I see," Kakashi murmured as he took another note, 'Cocky attitude.'

"Say, Mr Uchiha, what do you think about your co-workers?" The silver haired man asked; his face still buried in the orange novel. "They're idiots, just like everyone else around me; that includes you," the raven had had enough. He didn't like being analysed. "I'll take my leave now. If you would excuse me," Sasuke got up from his chair, bowed and wanted to leave when a hand grasped his wrist; effectively stopping his retreat.

"Please don't go like that," Naruto said in a shaky voice. It was his first day assisting Kakashi and he didn't want any patient leaving like that. The kitsune vessel was too proud to accept that anyone would leave so early when he was around. He wanted to help them regardless of whether they wanted to receive his help or not. The blond had sworn that he would do everything to help his patients. He wouldn't let them go like that, especially not that raven haired man.

Sasuke stared at the hand that gripped his wrist tightly; Naruto stared at Sasuke, a pleading look on his face; and at the corner of his eyes, even Kakashi stared at them for a brief second, before he continued to read his beloved little book again.

"You wouldn't happen to be sexually frustrated, now would you, Mr Uchiha?" the scarecrow asked as he turned the page of his novel; acting as if he had just asked what time it was.

Naruto's face turned a deep crimson red shade at his sensei's question, embarrassed about the older man's very personal question. Sasuke's face looked similar, though he wasn't embarrassed, he was just frantic.

"**How dare you asking me such a question?** **Who do you think you are, Mr Freud?! It's none of your business!!!**" the raven shouted at the older man, livid with rage.  
'Yep, he's indeed sexually frustrated,' the older man thought as he tried hard to hide his smirk, taking a quick note about his new discovery.

"Please calm down Mr Uchiha, I didn't mean to upset you," Kakashi apologized, causing Sasuke to snort. "As if! You **meant** to upset me! Don't give me that 'I didn't mean to upset you' crap!" the raven haired male bawled Kakashi out before he turned his attention to the blond that was still gripping his wrist. "And you," Sasuke's coal eyes narrowed on azure ones. "Let go of me already!" With that said, the raven freed his wrist from the blonde's grip.

Naruto looked taken aback at the retreating back, speechless for a second. That was when Kakashi decided to speak. "Mr Uchiha," the silver haired man started, "may I remind you that if you leave now, I'll have to report that to your superior." It wasn't a question; it was a promise – a threat. Sasuke stopped in his walk, turning to glare at the silver haired psychiatrist. "Are you threatening me?" the raven asked; his cold voice didn't hide the threat of what would happen if the older man said 'yes'.  
However, Kakashi wasn't impressed by the raven's threatening glare. "I'm not threatening you but if you leave now, I'll have to report it… Hmm, maybe you're right. I **am** threatening you — although it's more like a promise. Isn't that funny?" the psychiatrist's eyes turned into an amused upside down 'u'. Sasuke growled. If he killed the psychiatrist now, no one would mind. He was still enraged after all, and the older man was provoking him. Umm… yes. Maybe killing the scarecrow was indeed a very good idea, however, there were still witnesses around. The Uchiha heir glanced at Naruto. He would have to kill the blond, too, if he killed Kakashi.

He wouldn't mind killing Kakashi. That damn pervert would deserve it, but the blond… Would he actually mind killing the blond?

"Mr Uchiha," Kakashi said, trying to get the raven's attention. Sasuke shook his head, willing his thoughts away. "Mr Uchiha," Kakashi repeated, finally succeeding in drawing the raven's attention. "I didn't mean to threaten you, I'm sorry. Of course you are free to go whenever you please. But please keep in mind that everything you do will have consequences." The silver haired man took a deep breath. "In this case you'll lose your job if you go now, and you know that." Sasuke stood still, thinking about what he should do now. He needed that job but didn't want to talk to that silver haired pervert any longer.

Kakashi glanced up at him, studying the younger man's face as he contemplated his options. Being the luminary he was; he didn't need much time to figure the raven's problem out. On the other hand, being the pervert he was, he realised his chance to finish his 'Icha Icha Paradise' without any further interruptions.

"Naruto-kun," Kakashi said to the blond boy. "Please take care of Mr Uchiha for me. I'll take the rest of the day off; I don't feel very well. And, by the way, you won't learn anything if I do everything for you." With that said the older man got up and left the room quickly, taking his orange novel with him.

'That damn pervert just want to read his dirty porn novel,' Sasuke and Naruto thought in unison, narrowing their eyes on the scarecrow's retreating back.

When the door was closed, Naruto was the first one who broke the silence.

"So," the kitsune vessel started, unsure of what to do or say, "Umm… it seems as though I'm responsible for you now." Sasuke, on the other hand, knew very well what to do and to say. "You? Responsible for me?! Don't make me laugh!" The raven still wasn't very content with the idea of someone analysing him. "Hey!" Naruto snapped back at the Uchiha heir. "I'm very capable of dealing with bastards like you, so don't treat me like an idiot, you, you… bastard!" The kitsune vessel might be capable of being a psychiatrist but he wasn't very capable of thinking about better insults.  
"Why shouldn't I treat you like an idiot? After all, you are one!" Sasuke retorted, and that was the beginning of a beautiful little quarrel. "Bastard, you don't even know me!" Naruto shouted at the raven, furious about the raven's prejudice. "I know the kinds of you. Idiots can be found all over the world!" scratch 'quarrel,' that was a declaration of war.

"Bastard!" Naruto shouted.

"Dobe!" Sasuke retorted.

They argued like that for several minutes, only repeating their trademark insults: 'Bastard' and 'Dobe'.

When they finally finished their little dispute, Sasuke's hour was over and he was free to go home again.

"You… bastard," Naruto panted out hoarsely, he refused to let Sasuke have the final say. Unfortunately the same applied for the proud Uchiha. "Do…be," he said just as hoarsely as his blond counterpart.  
That was the moment when both slid down to the floor and gasped for breath. They had shouted at each other for more than 50 minutes and didn't think about breathing very much.

"Hey… you know what?" Sasuke asked between his attempts to return his breathing to normal again. "What?" Naruto asked; his breath ragged. "I…" the raven started but was interrupted when the door was opened suddenly, revealing the silver haired psychiatrist.

"Hey, boys, you're still in… here?" Kakashi asked as he looked down to the floor to see the two young men panting. Their faces were flushed (because they were angry) and they were sweating slightly (it was a hot day and their anger caused their bodies to heat up even more). However, Kakashi didn't know about the true reasons why they looked like that. To him, they looked as if they just had sex (well, maybe they looked like that to him because he can't think about anything else).

"Am I too late? I didn't think you'd make out _that_ quickly. It seems as though I've missed your show." Kakashi said, regarding the two boys.

"Pervert!" Naruto shouted at the older man, his face reddened even more with embarrassment and anger.

"What do you think we were doing?!" Sasuke jumped into the conversation, making the older male flinch at his shout.

"Well, having sex, of course," the silver haired man answered timidly, causing the other two males to almost growl in a guttural fashion at him.

Kakashi backed off slightly, trying to reach the door again. "Well, I'm off again," he said when he reached the door that promised his survival. "Have fun!" the silver haired psychiatrist said quickly before he ran away.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU PERVERT!" the two shouted after him in unison. Realising that the silver haired scarecrow wouldn't come back anytime soon so they could beat the shit out of him, they decided to go home as well.

And just like that Sasuke's first day being under psychological treatment ended.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

There isn't much to say, is there?

Well, I've started my new job (I make computers – repair them, and so on.)  
It's fun though the computers are really old (I mean it!)

As you can see, I haven't killed Kakashi (I wouldn't do that anyway. I don't think I could write a character death so easily. Furthermore, how could Kakashi die? Being eaten by his porn novel? Scary…)

The scarecrow was very important for this chapter, wasn't he? –hehe–

The next chapter is going to be more interesting, I promise! –smut ahead–

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	5. STOP: ACCESS DENIED!

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**STOP: ACCESS DENIED!**

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It had been several hours since Naruto had returned home and he still couldn't sleep at all. The whiskered young man lay in his bed, tossing and turning frantically in a desperate attempt to fall asleep.

Listening to the clock on the wall, counting sheep, whistling "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" by Mozart; the blond had tried everything he could think of and he was now almost tempted to abandon his attempt to sleep. Almost; since Naruto refused to give up he wouldn't give up now.

He closed his eyes for the millionth time that night, hoping that sleep would finally find him and take him away. Otherwise he would look like Gaara soon. Naruto's eyes flew open again at the thought of him looking like Gaara. Insomnia wouldn't suit him very much.

'Sleep! Sleep! Sleep! Sleep!' Naruto repeated the same word in his mind over and over again like a mantra, closing his eyes tightly as he did so.

The sound of the clock filled the room as more hours passed by. It was now 6.30 and even though Naruto felt tired, he couldn't sleep or maybe it was more like he wasn't allowed to sleep. The blond had to go to work very soon. He realised his assumption that time wouldn't stop just because he wanted to sleep was right, when his alarm clock rang.

The kitsune vessel got up, hitting his alarm clock to stop the annoying sound, before he decided to lie down again. No one would mind if he lay down another five minutes, right? Wrong! His alarm clock wasn't happy about the blonde's decision to rest a little bit longer, or maybe it was angry at the blond for hitting it since it decided to ring even louder; satisfying its desire for revenge. Naruto narrowed his eyes on the vengeful small, but about tenfold louder than it should had been, alarm clock. The Kyuubi vessel made yet another decision in the early morning.

Deciding that he didn't hit the alarm clock very well the first time, he hit it a couple more times before he smashed it against his wall.

Silence; sweet, sweet silence engulfed the blond as he closed his eyes, sighing contently.

_Riiiing… Rii… Riing…_

It was faint but the fox vessel could still hear it. 'No way,' he thought as the annoying sound reached his ears. He had smashed it into tiny pieces and his alarm clock was still intact?! There wasn't any doubt his alarm clock was seeking revenge, bloody revenge that was going beyond its grave.

"Damn it! I'm awake! I'm awake! Shut the fuck up already!" the blond got up angrily, shouting at his persistent alarm clock.

The next hours Naruto tried hard to keep himself awake. Everything was normal in Kakashi's office (or what Naruto thought was normal). The silver haired man was reading his ever present novel, his patients were talking about their problems and sometimes Kakashi would ask them a question and take notes.

It was a quarter to six when Kakashi told the fox boy, "Naruto-kun, I want you to take care of Mr Uchiha from now on." The Kyuubi vessel looked stunned. "Why?" he asked. "Because you're the only one he would actually talk to." Kakashi reasoned his decision. 'And I can read Icha Icha Paradise sooner since I don't have to deal with that cocky bastard,' the silver haired psychiatrist thought about his other, more important reason why he made the decision to entrust Sasuke to Naruto.

"But—", Naruto tried to protest but was interrupted when the door flew open, revealing the Uchiha-bastard.

"Well then, I'll leave you two alone," Kakashi smiled sweetly, though he laughed at the blonde's misfortune inwardly. 'Na-na-na-na-na-naaa,' Inner Kakashi was indeed really mature as he stuck his tongue out at the kitsune vessel before he left the room.

"Well then," the fox boy began as he sat down on the comfortable chair that was usually occupied by his sensei. "Let's start, shall we?" the blond asked, smiling at the raven.

"Hn," Sasuke sat down on a chair across from the blond, studying his face all the while. 'He looked like he didn't sleep very well last night,' the Uchiha heir mused.

The Kyuubi vessel yawned. "How have you been?" he asked, as long as he talked he would be able to keep himself awake.

"Hn," the raven haired young male was really quick at repartee. Unfortunately, it didn't help much to keep the blond awake.

His eyes grew heavier as his eyelids covered his azure blue eyes. Finally, after so many hours he had tried in vain, he was able to sleep. His head dropped down to the desk in front of him as sleep took him over.

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**Naruto's dreamland**

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He strolled down the hallway of his apartment. Everything looked familiar yet so strange. Every room was dark, except for one. A faint light could be seen through his half open bedroom door. Feeling as though something was drawing him into the room, he opened the door a little more. He stepped in the room carefully, analysing his surroundings. There weren't many furniture in the room. The blond could only see a bed and a desk. He walked over to the desk. "A ring," Naruto mused as he picked up the golden jewel, regarding it as he did so. Turning it, he saw a small, italic gravure that read "Uchiha".

"Uchiha," that name was haunting the whiskered boy.

Feeling the desire to wear the golden jewel, he put it on. Everything felt so real; the cold, metallic feeling of the ring on his ring finger; the air around him; the wooden texture of the desk; and yet everything seemed utterly surreal.

As he tried to sort out his confused feelings, someone grabbed his wrist all of a sudden and turned him around.

"Y— You?" the blond stuttered, looking into coal eyes. His counterpart didn't say anything in reply. Instead, the raven pulled him closer to him so they were skin to skin, claiming the blonde's full lips in a passionate kiss immediately.

"Mmhmph…" Naruto tried to protest, however, his protests turned into moans as their tongues fought for dominance, vibrating in their mouths.

The raven directed him to the bed, not even once breaking their kiss.

With a soft thud, the kitsune vessel fell on the bed, the dark haired young man still on top of him.

Naruto panted heavily when they broke away from the kiss for very much needed air. Coal eyes locked with azure ones as the raven's hand travelled downwards the lithe kitsune's body, coming to a halt as he reached his trouser waistband.

The young blond gasped when he heard his trouser button was being opened. "Umm… M-Mr U-Uchiha… W-what are you doing?" the Kyuubi vessel stuttered anxiously. Yet, said raven didn't seem to be interested in that question very much, at least not enough to answer it, as he continued to unzip the blonde's trousers.

Once he was done, he pulled Naruto's trousers down to his ankles, revealing everything of the kitsune's lower body part. Upon realising that his lower body –including his very private area– was exposed to the other male, Naruto grew even more anxious.

He squealed when a hand closed about his member and began to pump it slowly. "Wai— Wait! Mr Uchiha, please wait!" Naruto tried to stop him, but his attempt was to no avail. The raven continued to stroke his semi-hard length oh-so-slowly. The blonde's body trembled at the almost painfully slow pace.

"Hngh… Nooo…" the blond squealed. The raven haired man's hand continued to stroke his length from the hilt to the tip, making sure not to forget a single part of it.

Smearing little shots of precum on the kitsune's cock, the dark haired male engulfed the younger one's quivering, hard member, earning another squeal from the fox boy.

Wanting to hear the boy beneath him moan, the older man took more of the other one's cock into his mouth slowly. He began to bob his head up and down on the length, picking up his pace slowly as time went by. The blond gave a soft mewl in reply, bucking his hips up to feel more of that hot mouth sucking him off. However, his try was to no avail as the dark haired male held the fox's hips steady to prevent him from choking.

"Unnh… Mr Uchiha," the blond moaned as he felt said man's right hand sliding up his shirt to play with his nipples while his other hand caressed his balls.

Soon afterwards Naruto felt his body heating up interminably. He couldn't take much more of that. It was almost unbearable. The hand pinching his nipples, the other one caressing his balls and the Uchiha-bastard sucking him off, were causing the trembling blond to approach his limits quickly.

"Aah! Aaaannnh! Mr Uchiha!!!" Naruto cried out as he came into the raven's mouth. The dark haired man happily swallowed every drop of the younger one's milk, licking it clean like a kitten, before he let the now limp member plop out of his mouth again.

He crawled up the younger boy's body, leaning down next to his ear as he whispered in a low, seductive voice…

"Dobe."

The blond boy's eyes flew open and widened comically as he realised he was in Kakashi's office. Sasuke stood next to him, obviously irritated.

"So you're finally awake, hn?" the dark haired man said, his voice sounding as angry as he looked like.

'It was a dream?' Naruto was completely confused. Just a moment ago he was lying underneath the other male who was now standing in front of him, and it was all just a dream?! That was right. Not only was it a dream but the man he dreamed of was standing in front of him. Naruto blushed a deep crimson red as he remembered the dream he just had had.

"I'm- I'm sorry," the blond apologized, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Coal eyes regarded him for a few seconds before a predatory smile graced the pale man's features. "Oh well, it's okay I guess, since you're a dobe anyway," the raven said coolly.

"But next time," the dark haired male leaned in closer to the blond to whisper his next words, "call me Sasuke."

"What?" the kitsune vessel asked confused.

"It sounds more familiar than 'Mr Uchiha', don't you think so?" the raven's smile turned into a smirk, hidden from the kitsune's eyes.

'No way,' the blonde's eyes widened comically. 'I didn't talk in my sleep, did I? No way! No way! Oh my god!' the young fox panicked inwardly.

If possible, the raven's smirk got even wider as he brushed his lips against the other boy's soft cheek before he pulled away from the blond.

"Well then, it seems my time is up," the older man stated matter-of-factly as he turned around to take his leave.

"See you tomorrow, dobe," the Uchiha heir said before he closed the door behind him, effectively hiding his smirk from the younger one.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Oh, this chapter is so lemony fresh, I feel like Mr Clean. –sniffles the air–  
I'm so happy I'm not bald XP.

I like Kakashi (though I still like Sai best). Yippee for perverts (especially perverted artists)!

Poor Naruto and his insomnia… I know how it feels like –stares at the clock–  
Kill those damn alarm clocks!!!  
I can't help thinking about 'Weiß Kreuz' here.  
'Hunters of the night, deny these evil beasts their tomorrows.' –assassinate alarm clocks–  
I love the 'Weiß Kreuz' outtakes. –lol–  
Oh well, wrong series right now.

Back to the original subject: Naruto.

I bet you all know those dreams, when you're 'officially' in a place you know (like your house, for example) and it doesn't look like it at all. That's just the same with Naruto's dream.

The ring in Naruto's dream meant that he would fall in love. ––  
I wanted the gravure to make things clear (though it only reads 'Uchiha', but since he doesn't know his first name yet, it wouldn't make much sense to engrave 'Uchiha Sasuke' in it, now would it?)

I have my own 'Smut ahead' road sign now. –YAY!–

As for the smut itself in this chapter: let's just say, I'm saving the best for later…

Thank you so much for all your reviews. I'm really surprised (and honoured) that you seem to like this story so much.  
I should try to make a fanart for this fanfic when I have some time. –embarrassed laughter–

_Next chapter_: The almighty encounter! Yep, they'll finally recognise each other!

Stay tuned! Ja, mata ne!

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	6. STOP: ERROR 404! Identity not found!

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**STOP: Error 404 – Identity not found!**

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Naruto stood there, petrified with horror, as he watched the older man walking away. He still couldn't believe what just had happened. He didn't say anything; he couldn't. His mind didn't work properly and even though one hundred thoughts were running through his head, he couldn't even say one out aloud.  
It was just when Sasuke closed the door behind him that Naruto was relieved from his shock. "Wait!" the young blond exclaimed; his legs were running on their own effort as he tried to catch up with the raven haired male. The door swung open quickly, giving way to the yellow flash that was Naruto.

"Wait!" Naruto shouted, running down the street, looking for the raven haired man. Finally his eyes caught a glimpse of jet black spiky hair and the kitsune vessel picked up his pace. He couldn't let the other man escape; he knew too much (Oo")

"WAIT!!! GOD DAMN IT! WAAIT!!!" the young man shouted on top of his lungs and, for once, his loud voice was helpful. The older man stopped in his path, turning around to face the young psychiatrist who was quickly approaching him. Sasuke waited patiently until the young man came to a halt before him. Panting, Naruto tried to catch his breath again; arching his back and resting his hands on his thighs, he remained in this position for a little while.

It was Sasuke who spoke first. "What do you want?" The raven's voice was cool and indifferent, as if nothing had had happened. "Te—Teeme," Naruto panted out, "Don't act like… that!" "How?" Sasuke asked, regarding the young panting male in front of him. "Like that!" Naruto shouted, angry at the ignorant question the other man had asked him. The raven remained indifferent. He regarded the blond silently, waiting for him to say more. "You see, you're doing it again! You act as if nothing had happened!" the kitsune vessel shouted harshly. An unimpressed "Hn" was Sasuke's sole reply, but it was the last straw for Naruto.

"YOU GODDAMN BASTARD! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Naruto exclaimed against the still unimpressed raven before he lost his temper. Seeing the stoic raven remaining indifferent to his trouble, the fox's body moved on its own. Punching the dark haired man in the face, the Uchiha fell, with a dull thud, on the hard asphalt. The raven rubbed his abused cheek; it hurt. Every feeling of sympathy he had felt for the blond a minute ago was being immediately washed away, when the younger man's fist connected with his face.

'You'll pay for this,' the raven haired man thought angrily, his eyes lingered on the other man gloomily as he picked himself up again. "You'll regret that, dobe." Sasuke snarled, narrowing his eyes on the kitsune vessel. "Stop calling me dobe, you cocky bastard! Why can't you just forget about that goddamn incident, so I can go home relieved? Arrrgh!! You know what? Forget that I want you to forget about that incident! It doesn't matter whether you tell anyone that I dreamt about you! No one will believe you anyway since I'm much more popular than you are because I'm nicer! You are just an arrogant asshole!" Naruto ranted, enticing the older man to wonder whether the fox vessel would remember to breathe anytime soon.

Inflamed with rage, Naruto trudged away; complaining about the other man behaviour loudly.  
'What… was that just now?' Sasuke briefly wondered. "Dobe," the dark haired man said, shaking his head.  
(Un)fortunately, the young blond didn't hear the raven's last word. He was too far away already.

When Naruto arrived home, the only thing he wanted to do was sleeping. His work and his argument with the raven haired man had exhausted him. So he took off his shoes and went to the bathroom to take a nice and relaxing warm shower. Humming a soft melody, the kitsune vessel quickly forgot all his problems.

Once he finished taking his shower, he put on his pyjamas. 'I'll call it a day.' Naruto thought, tottering to his bed. The young blond was dead tired and was hardly able to reach his bed before he fell asleep.

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**Naruto's dreamland**

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When Naruto opened his eyes again, he found himself in a dark, empty room. 'Oh great,' Naruto thought ironically when he saw… nothing at all. Trying to feel his way forward through the pitch-dark room, he tripped over his own feet. A low angry growl erupted from his throat as a result of him being angry at himself. 'That's so typical. Why do things like that happen to me of all people?' He thought as he picked himself up again, dusting off his clothes as he did so. Though he was unable to see any dust, the kitsune vessel assumed that his clothes were dirty after his fall.

Suddenly a brilliant blue light illuminated the room slightly and was forming a narrow path to another room. Curious, Naruto followed the lurid light. Once he was in the other room, he could see the source of the light; it was his PC!

"What the fuck?" Naruto briefly wondered, surprised to see his computer in his dream. 'Oh well… Don't they say that if there's something written down in your dreams, you've to read it?' The blond shrugged his doubt off; his curiosity was stronger than any doubt. He approached his monitor carefully. Despite the fact that it was just a dream, Naruto didn't want to be hurt or killed; so it's better to never let your guard down.

"Error 404! The identity you were looking for could not be found. If you already know the person you're looking for, please type in his or her name." The kyuubi vessel read the message on the Bluescreen aloud. He didn't even move a finger afterwards as he stared at the message in front of him, reading over it again. 'The person… I was looking for? What? Who?' Naruto thought. His mind was a jumble, unable to form a coherent thought, though one thought always came to his mind; the goddamn Uchiha.

"Argh," Naruto growled frustrated. "Can't this bastard leave me alone? Pretty please, even if it's just in my dreams, leave me alone!" He cried out desperately. The cursor was blinking unswervingly, awaiting an input.

'Uchiha! Uchiha! Uchiha! Uchiha! Uchiha!' His mind only repeated the name of the person he hated most, causing the poor blond to type in said name angrily. Inflamed with rage at the mere thought of the raven haired man, Naruto pounded the keyboard as he typed in the Uchiha's name.

A few seconds later the Bluescreen changed, showing a picture of said man. It read:

* * *

**Keyword**: _Uchiha  
_**Results**: 01

**Name**: Uchiha Sasuke

**Name first heard**: 23rd August, 2007  
**Where**: Telephone call; Microsoft technical support group  
**Person first met**: 24th August, 2007  
**Where**: Patient at Hatake Kakashi's office  
**Known facts**: Cocky attitude, bastard

* * *

Naruto's eyebrow twitched at the name. Bad memories were brought back to him. He didn't forget the telephone call with that snotty-nosed little upstart, but he didn't know that the "Telephone-Bastard-Uchiha" and the "I-won't-forget-the-incident-about-you-dreaming-of-me-Uchiha" were in fact the same person.

Slapping his flat hand against his forehead, the kyuubi vessel grumbled. Now that he could compare both encounters, they were pretty much alike. The way the Uchiha had treated him on the phone was similar to the way he treated him when they were at Kakashi's office.

Come to think of it, didn't the Uchiha say that he wanted him to call him Sasuke?

"Oh no…" Naruto grumbled again. "Please, no," the kitsune vessel pleaded. Suddenly, everything made sense, although Naruto didn't like it. The young blond was on the verge of despair. Closing his eyes, he willed everything around him away. All he wanted was some time to think, but even that small wish seemed to remain unfulfilled when he didn't wake up from his dream. To Naruto, it was more like a nightmare than a normal dream. When he first phoned with the raven haired man, he hoped he would never have to speak to him again. And now?! Not only did he have to talk to him, but he also had to see the bastard every day. Slowly, realisation sank in, and a single tear ran down his whiskered cheek, leaving a moist trail behind. "Someone… wake me up, please," the young blond pleaded despairingly.

A loud noise brought the fox vessel back to reality. His alarm clock had saved him from his nightmare, but there were still a few problems.

First; it wasn't a nightmare. Naruto knew that it was real. Well, at least the information he got regarding the Uchiha were.  
Second; his alarm clock might had saved him, but it didn't mean to save him. Far from it! The alarm meant that it was time for him to wake up since he would be late for work otherwise.

Work… The mere thought of his work sent shivers down the kitsune vessel's spine. He would meet the leading actor from his nightmare there. Tucking up his legs, the poor blond lay on his bed, curled up in a ball.

The deafening noise of his alarm clock had taken a back seat when Naruto contemplated his situation. He could go to work, meet the… uhh… Uchiha. Another shiver was sent down his spine at the mention of the raven haired man's name. Or, he could take the day off and tell his superior that he was ill.

Though the second idea sounded like the better one, it wasn't. He would have to find a doctor who would attest him that he was ill even if he wasn't.

"Unnngh." Naruto whined as he stood up slowly, getting ready for the upcoming day.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Don't say anything! I can read your mind… You think that… this chapter was too short. Since I haven't updated for a very long time, it should have been longer, ne?

I'm sorry. Really, I am.  
But I can't write that often (especially not the last months).  
I had to write various tests (and I still have to write more) and I had to work.  
Well, at least I don't have to work anymore, though I have to find a doctor now.  
No, I don't need one to attest me that I'm (not) ill, but I need a … rataplan… psychologist. They want to do further tests with me and since they can't find any physical reason for my disease they want to check my mental health… Again.  
Do I look like a guinea pig?

Oh well, don't worry. It's hard to get an appointment for a therapy, so I can write some more. The next update could take a while because I have three tests after my holidays. English, Mathematics and Chemistry. And then I have to write my Sociology test.

So, what did we learn today?

Naruto has lucid dreams and, finally, remembers Sasuke.  
Sasuke is stubborn and doesn't want to forget about that incident.  
I hate Ubuntu and am glad that I'll never have to install it again.

Their next therapy session will be fun. Can you imagine what it'll be like?!  
Sasuke doesn't know yet that he already met Naruto, but Naruto knows.  
Believe me, it won't take too long until our dearest Uchiha remembers him.  
Okay. I won't spoil you.  
So…

Stay tuned! Mata ne!

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	7. STOP: Copy and Paste!

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**STOP: Copy and Paste!**

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Slowly, Naruto trudged along the street. His feet felt almost unbearable heavy; barely able to support his body weight. With a worried look in his eyes, Naruto looked up at the sky.  
"The sun is so yellow," Naruto muttered, blaming the sun for his beginning headache. Of course the blond knew that it wasn't the sun's fault that his head felt as if it was being thrown in a mixer. It was the Uchiha's fault! But the sun didn't soothe his headache either.

An unnerved sigh escaped his lips; resignation overwhelmed him all too fast. He noticed the people around him as they seemed to walk by in slow motion. To the kitsune's dissatisfaction, the day seemed to last forever.

As he walked along the street, his head downcast, a well-known smell reached his sensitive nose. The whiskered boy sniffed the air excitedly. Despite the fact that he should go to work, he followed his nose, the smell leading him to a small stand.

The ramen-ya Ichiraku was on his way to work, always tempting the poor blond to spend all his money on the delicious noodle soups. In the space of a minute, he found himself in front of the small shop. He might have considered himself a ramen addict, but that didn't matter as he stood there; drooling as he remembered the taste of his beloved ramen.

"Mmmh… Ramen…" Naruto moaned; his feet which had been heavy a moment ago became as light as a feather, as he walked into the shop, almost floating.

Once inside, he didn't waste any time as he sat down. The owner of the shop walked over to the young kitsune, greeting him. "Ah, hello, Naruto-kun. It's nice to see you again." The old man's words brought Naruto back to reality. He looked around, taking in his surroundings when he almost cried out in shock. Here he was, in the sea of temptation… and stone-broken. 'This is so unfair,' the young fox vessel whined, knowing that he wouldn't be able to withstand such a temptation as ramen.

And suddenly it came, the question that would come up for sure. "So, Naruto. What would you like to eat?" the old man asked, unaware of the plight he caused the young kitsune.  
'Don't say it!' Kyuubi warned him mentally. "Miso…" He began to say, the nine tailed fox repeated its warning. 'Don't say it!' Naruto didn't hear the warning as he continued "…Ra…" 'You can't afford it, kit! You're broke!!!' The demon fox exhorted him, and although Naruto knew that all too well, he couldn't stop; his lips moving on their own accord. "…men…" Kyuubi growled in a guttural fashion, angry at his host for not listening to him. 'Are you happy now?' The fox growled. 'You've just dug your own grave, pup. If you'd listened to me, you wouldn't have been in this situation now. But, noooo. You HAD to order some ramen, hadn't you?!' The demon fox twit him, earning a mad shout from its vessel. "Shut the fuck up! It might have been a mistake, but it's too late to change it now, so shut the fuck up! Stop blaming me!!!"

"Umm… Naruto-kun…" The owner of the ramen-ya said charily. "What?!" Naruto turned around, facing the old man. He was still angry at Kyuubi for its demerit mark regarding the poor blond. "Your miso ramen are getting cold." The shop owner pointed out. "Oh…" Naruto said in a low voice, calming down. He looked down at the bowl, regarding it as the steam vanished slowly. "Haa…" the old man signed when he saw the sad look on the blonde's face. "What's wrong, Naruto-kun?" He asked concerned. Naruto startled, stuttering that nothing was wrong and the old man shouldn't worry. He couldn't tell him that he was broke and couldn't pay for the meal. Naruto was too afraid to do so. After all, the old man had already prepared the ramen. The blond grinned like a Cheshire cat, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"Say, old man, would you mind…" The fox boy began to say when he was interrupted by a sudden "Irasshaimase!" from the owner of the small shop. The kyuubi vessel blinked confused. He turned around quickly to see who'd just come in and his jaw dropped when he saw the raven haired Uchiha-bastard. "YOU—!?" The loudmouthed blond asked, pointing a finger at the surprised, but still calm, Uchiha. "Dobe." He smirked, putting the younger man on edge. 'What did I do to deserve this?' Naruto asked peevishly, cursing whoever pulled the strings of his misfortune. 'There's no god, and if there's one, this bastard is probably gloating over it!' (**A/N**: Yes, I am… fufufu)

"What do you want here, bastard?" The kitsune vessel asked agitated. "Uh… Ramen?" Sasuke said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You never said that you liked ramen!" Naruto countered suspiciously. Sasuke leaned down to Naruto, whispering against his ear huskily: "Maybe I'm just here for my Naruto…" "Wha- Whaa- WHAAAT???!!!" Naruto cried out frantically, almost falling off his stool because of the huge shock. "The fishcakes, dumbass." Sasuke cleared up the misunderstanding, grinning triumphantly for getting under the blonde's skin. "Bastard." Naruto mumbled ashamedly. He really thought that Sasuke meant him, and, honestly, he did. But, of course, he wouldn't tell the blond.

"So," the owner of the ramen-ya interrupted their reunion. "What would you like to eat?" He asked. This was still a shop where people were supposed to buy food and also eat it. Sasuke looked up, glaring at the old man for interfering with their _coincidental _meeting. The truth was that Sasuke had seen the blond walking along the street and walked closely behind him; not that he was following the younger man - noooo. Sasuke would have cut everyone's tongue out if they had dared to say otherwise. His coal black eyes skimmed over the menu quickly, he wasn't really hungry at all. "Naruto," the raven said to the owner of the shop, earning a disapproving glare from the blond to his left as he took a seat beside him. "I want Naruto," the dark haired male repeated his order, ignoring the death glares directed his way as he smiled in a sickly sweet way. "You just want… fishcakes?" the old man asked, his eyebrow twitching. He was annoyed at the raven haired man's ambiguity, but played along anyway. What else should he have done? The customer's always right. Besides, Naruto was able to take care of himself. If the raven tried to do something funny, Naruto would kick his ass. Right? Right! Feeling confident about that, the old man nodded before he went to prepare some fishcakes.

They sat next to each other in silence. Even when the old man handed the fishcakes over to Sasuke, not a single word was spoken. They just sat there next to each other, and ate their meals. "Gochisousama deshita" Naruto said as he stood up with the intention to leave. He had had enough of the raven haired man's company and his anti-social behaviour that he even forgot to pay. Well, even if he hadn't forgotten it, he still wouldn't have been able to pay for the meal. Now then, the owner of the small ramen-ya didn't forget that Naruto hadn't paid so far.

"Naruto" A stern voice kept him from leaving. "Didn't you forget something?" The old man's voice was exhorting, tying the blond effectively like a rope; a very strong rope. The blond young man stood there as if he was adhered to the ground, unable to move.

'Ooh… crap…' the fox vessel thought as he turned around, facing the bilked older man. "Umm… you see, old man, … I… I mean…" Naruto tried to stutter out his excuse, but was interrupted by the raven haired man next to him suddenly. "Is that enough?" The usually stoic dark haired man asked when he put a generous amount of money on the counter.

Naruto blinked in confusion. 'Did he just pay for _my_ meal?' The kitsune vessel wondered. Not only the blond was baffled, but the owner of the small ramen-ya was, too, before he composed himself again. "Umm… yes. Actually, this is more than enough…' the old man said, counting the money briefly. "Keep the rest. I'm in a hurry… Naruto," the raven said, attracting the younger man's attention at the mention of his name. "Let's go." The older man told the kitsune vessel, not waiting for the younger one to complain about the order as he walked ahead; leaving the small shop first.

"Hey… Wait!" Naruto exclaimed as he ran after the dark haired male. "Don't order me around like that anymore! Why did you do that anyway?" The small fox vessel huffed in annoyance. "Why? It worked like a charm, didn't it? And, as for why I did that, you're supposed to be at work by now." The raven explained, not facing the younger man as he fixed his gaze on a tree in front of him. He didn't want to look at the blond for… For what exactly? Sasuke didn't know. The sudden realisation that he didn't know the answer caused Sasuke to stop in his walk abruptly.

"Sasuke?" Naruto angled for the other male's attention, wondering why the raven haired man suddenly stopped. He didn't realise that he just had said the older one's name for the first time. However, Sasuke did. His head shot up, staring at the younger man as though he were a pink elephant balancing on a white mouse. The utter confusion that was evident on the other's face caused Naruto to wonder what was going on. He remembered his last word and paled. 'Crap,' the blond cursed himself for talking without thinking again.

"Did you just call me…" Sasuke started, but was interrupted by Naruto suddenly. "Hey! Hurry up already, bastard! I don't want to be late just because of you." Naruto exclaimed, trying to change the subject. "Humph." Sasuke huffed in annoyance. "You're already late, dobe." "Then don't make me wait for you even more, bastard!" The blond retorted, running a little bit ahead. Sasuke caught up with the other male quickly and they walked side by side silently.

"Hey…" The kyuubi vessel broke the awkward silence that was surrounding them. "Hm?" Sasuke indicated that he was listening. "… Tha—…Thank you." Naruto's voice died away until it was barely a whisper. But it was loud enough for Sasuke to hear as he turned around to face the blond once again. "You don't have to thank me." He said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "No." Naruto protested. It cost the blond quite an effort to thank the raven haired man and he wanted his counterpart to appreciate this. "You didn't have to pay for my food. So, …thank you…" Naruto grumbled the last words. Not only did he have to thank Sasuke once but twice.

"… Do you know why?" Sasuke asked after another awkward moment was spent in silence. Naruto looked up to face the older male, his whiskered face held an unknowing look to it. The raven haired man could barely resist the urge to stroke those whiskered cheeks. 'Cute,' he thought as he regarded the innocent expression on the other's face.

"Because you were…" Sasuke contemplated several possibilities to finish his sentence with. "… Obviously broke." He chose a half-truth. Of course he had seen that the blond hadn't been able to pay, but even if the younger boy had been able to, he would've paid for him.

"You bastard! You goddamn bastard!" Naruto exclaimed against the older mean furiously, earning a chiding "Tsk, tsk, tsk" from the dark haired man. "Is that any way to thank me?" The raven haired man asked rebukingly. "I already thanked you!" Naruto snarled behind clenched teeth. "Oh really? Well yes, you did thank me for paying, but you didn't thank me for paying too much." Sasuke said, wanting the other man to thank him once more. 'It sounds so cute when he says 'thank you',' the raven thought, almost drooling when he imagined the blond using the same shy tone in bed.

"It's your own fault that you paid too much!" Naruto retorted, not noticing that he just startled Sasuke from a very explicit daydream.  
"Well, my dear, I paid 5000 ¥ for meals that only cost 500 ¥." 'Damn these rich guys,' Naruto thought annoyed. "You owe me something, don't you? I paid for 20 bowls of ramen, just for you. So you can eat 19 more bowls if you like to." Sasuke said, knowing that he could tempt the blond with ramen. He had seen the blond drooling over it. "But what do I get for that?" Sasuke asked, tapping his chin to look even more contemplative. "I know," he said, leaning in to the blond. "Just say my name once more," the raven's hot breath ghosted over Naruto's skin as he whispered those words huskily. Naruto swallowed hard. They were so close - too close for Naruto's comfort; it sent shivers down his spine.

"Back off!" The fox vessel shouted, pushing the older man away from him. Sasuke tripped, his hands searched for something to stabilise him, finding Naruto's shirt and seizing it desperately. That action caused both of them to fall on the hard asphalt.  
Naruto was lucky since he fell on Sasuke, so he fell rather soft, though he earned some death glares from various girls around him. 'Yup fangirls, I fell onto him on purpose.' The blond snorted. 'As if.'

Lying there, sprawled out on the pavement, Sasuke was the first one to act. He grabbed the younger man's wrists, keeping him from leaving. "Will you say it now?" he asked and whispered a husky version of the blonde's name shortly afterwards. "Let goooo!" Naruto whined as he tried in vain to escape the older man's grip on him. "Not until you say my name, Naruto-kun." The raven said wickedly. "Why do you even know my name? I didn't tell you, stalker!" Naruto tried to change the subject again, and blaming the raven haired man seemed to be the right topic right now. Maybe the older man would let go off him then.

"Dobe, I'm neither deaf nor stupid. Kakashi called you Naruto-kun, and, just in case you might have forgotten, I was still in the room." Sasuke explained. "Uhh…" The kyuubi vessel's theory that the older man was a sick stalker died, but he still refused to say that bastard's name once more. Upon seeing that Naruto refused to say his name, Sasuke took both of the blonde's hands into his own hand, before his other, now free hand travelled down to the blonde's ass. Trailing down the smaller man's back, he earned a soft mewl. 'Is this his weak spot?' Sasuke mused. 'Note to myself: Find it out!' His hand travelled up and down between the younger man's ass and his back, occasionally squeezing the soft buttocks or rubbing slow circles of his back. Each movement of his earned him various sounds from the blond boy on top of him, from a squeal to a purr in less than 10 seconds.

"Stop it already…" Naruto panted out, feeling the beginning bulge in his trousers rose accompanied by his desire to get away from the raven and the looks other people were shooting at him. "You just have to say it then…" Sasuke murmured; grinding his hips against the other's, earning a husky gasp when their erections rubbed against each other. The friction was almost too much, blinding them with pleasure. "Sa… Sasu…ke," Naruto panted out, "Let… go…"

Sighing, Sasuke released the blonde's hands; allowing him to leave when, all of a sudden, a mobile phone rang. It wasn't his. He didn't listen to Die Ärzte. Well yeah, maybe sometimes. But he did not listen to that song. "Junge" was the zombie song, wasn't it? He only knew the censored version, though, which caused him to hate that song. The raven hated slapstick comedy.

Naruto answered his mobile phone with an overjoyed "Hi". He scarcely got any calls, so he was more than happy to get a call. "Well, hello there, Naruto-kun," a sickly sweet voice could be heard on the other line. Sasuke tried to eavesdrop, craning his neck to hear more. "Ha… Hatake-sensei!" Naruto paled. He knew he forgot something. Sasuke watched the whiskered boy carefully, waiting for what was to come next. "I'm glad you remember me, Naruto-kun. Though, it seems, you don't remember where my office is located in." Kakashi said; his voice low and calm, however, to Naruto is sounded like the calm before the storm. "Please forgive me, Hatake-sensei. I'll be right there!" The fox vessel said pleadingly. 'Now, if only he would replace 'Hatake-sensei' with 'Sasuke'.'

The dark haired man's imagination returned and formed new daydreams, perverted as always. That was why he didn't notice the younger man hanging up and running as fast as he could. It was just when the young blond shouted loudly "Sasuke" that he recollected himself, taking in his surroundings. He was still sitting on the pavement, being gaped at by other people. "What?!" he growled at the strangers around him. "Hurry up already, bastard!" Naruto shouted, running ahead of him.

Another low growl erupted from his throat as he stood up slowly, patting the dust off his clothes unhurriedly. An Uchiha didn't run, so he took his time before he walked a little bit fast than normally, but he still walked. Thus he wasn't able to catch up with the blond instead the gap between them grew, and, after a few minutes, all the raven haired man could see was a blond flash vanishing into the distant horizon. "Damn it," he cursed as he picked up his pace, too. Running after the blond kitsune.

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

What to say?! What to say?!  
Hmm…  
Maybe I should explain some phrases.

_**Irasshaimase**_ means "Welcome" (in a shop, restaurant, but not at home!)  
_**Gochisousama deshita **_means "Thank you for the meal" and is said after eating.  
Ramen-_**ya**_: The ya ending indicates that it is a shop.

If you see some typos (I believe there are quite a lot), they might be written by my cat.  
He likes to jump on the keyboard.  
Ne, you do, don't you, Sternchen?

See chapter "UN.ZIP" for Kakashi calling Naruto by his name when Sasuke was still in the room. Although he knows his name it doesn't mean that he remembers their first meeting, right? Right. So this will be my next mission.

Make out on the pavement. A regular sight, isn't it?  
When I went by bus a few days ago, there were some guys who took off their trousers on the street. Exhibitionism, ahoy!  
They didn't make out, though.

Maybe you wondered about the 19 bowls of ramen.  
Well, it's quite simple.  
In my story, one bowl of ramen costs 250 ¥.  
And the amount of Naruto cost 250 ¥ as well.  
Sasuke paid for both of them, so it's 500 ¥.  
So then, if Naruto eats out alone, he can eat 19 more bowls of ramen.  
In short: (5000:250)-119

I believe I heard "Junge" ( "Boy") by Die Ärzte ( The Doctors) more than 250 times while I wrote that chapter. But unlike my sister, I can hear the same song various times in a row.  
I like the video clip a lot (both, the censored and the uncensored version).  
It's so funny.

And because I can't think of anything else to say, I write down the lyrics to the song.  
HAH! GOTCHA!

**

* * *

**

**Die Ärzte**: "Junge"

Junge,  
Warum hast du nichts gelernt?  
Guck dir den Dieter an,  
Der hat sogar ein Auto.  
Warum gehst du nicht zu Onkel Werner in die Werkstatt?  
Der gibt dir 'ne Festanstellung,  
Wenn du ihn darum bittest.

Junge -  
Und wie du wieder aussiehst!  
Löcher in der Hose  
Und ständig dieser Lärm.  
Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?  
Und dann noch deine Haare,  
Da fehlen mir die Worte.  
Musst du die denn färben?  
Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?  
Nie kommst du nach Hause,  
Wir wissen nicht mehr weiter.

Junge,  
Brich deiner Mutter nicht das Herz.  
Es ist noch nicht zu spät,  
Dich an der Uni einzuschreiben.  
Du hast dich doch früher so für Tiere interessiert,  
Wäre das nichts für dich?  
Eine eigene Praxis!

Junge -  
Und wie du wieder aussiehst!  
Löcher in der Nase  
Und ständig dieser Lärm!  
Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?  
Elektrische Gitarren  
Und immer diese Texte,  
Das will doch keiner hören!  
Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?  
Nie kommst du nach Hause,  
So viel schlechter Umgang!  
Wir werden dich enterben!  
Was soll das Finanzamt sagen?

Wo soll das alles enden?  
Wir machen uns doch Sorgen!  
Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.  
Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.  
Und du warst so ein süßes Kind.  
Du warst so süß.

Und immer deine Freunde -  
Ihr nehmt doch alle Drogen!  
Und ständig dieser Lärm!  
Was sollen die Nachbarn sagen?  
Denk an deine Zukunft,  
Denk an deine Eltern.  
Willst du, dass wir sterben?

* * *

And just because I'm nice, here's a translation.

* * *

**Die Ärzte**: "Boy"

Boy,  
Why haven't you learned anything?  
Look at Dieter,  
He even has a car.  
Why don't you go to uncle Werner's workshop?  
He'll offer you permanent employment  
If you ask him.

Boy -  
What a sight you are again!  
Holes in your pair of trousers  
And always that noise.  
What will our neighbours say?  
And then your hair,  
I'm speechless.  
Do you have to dye them?  
What will our neighbours say?  
You never go home,  
We are at a loss.

Boy,  
Don't break your mother's heart.  
It's not too late  
To enrol in university yet.  
Back then, you were so interested in animals,  
Wouldn't that be fine for you?  
Your own small animal veterinary practice!

Boy -  
What a sight you are again!  
Holes in your nose  
And always that noise!  
What will our neighbours say?  
Electric guitars  
And those lyrics,  
Nobody wants to hear that!  
What will our neighbours say?  
You never go home,  
So much bad company!  
We'll disinherit you!  
What will the tax office say?

Where will that end?  
We are worried!  
And you were such a cute child.  
And you were such a cute child.  
And you were such a cute child.  
You were so cute.

And then your friend -  
I'm sure, you all take drugs!  
And always that noise!  
What will our neighbours say?  
Think of your future,  
Think of your parents.  
Do you want us to die?

* * *

So… Why did I write that down?  
Maybe because of a pressure to perform.  
I'm pretty anxious because of my upcoming tests and, honestly,  
I doubt I'll pass.  
It's almost too much for me to remember.  
The last time I had to write several tests in a week, I ended up writing my French test in English.  
So this time… Uh… I don't want to think about it.

I hope you liked the story so far. So until I'll upload the next chapter, all I can say is **つづく**… ( "To be continued...")

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	8. STOP: Drag and Drop!

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**STOP: Drag and Drop!**

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The two young men arrived at Kakashi's office at 3.30 p.m., slightly panting for air. They have been running around for almost two hours, the blonde's face was flushed from the long run and remembering what caused his delay, his cheeks were tinted an even darker shade of red.

"What are you doing here already, anyway?" Naruto enquired as he turned to the raven, the person he blamed for this mess. "You still have two and a half hours left till your appointment."

"Today's my day off," Sasuke lied, finding it more amusing to annoy the poor blond by his mere existence than to act nice to a bunch of idiots on the phone. 'They're PICNIC', Sasuke thought, gritting his teeth at the thought of explaining the difference between left and right to an army of brainless idiots.

Naruto sighed as he realised he wouldn't get the dark haired man to leave and knocked on the wooden door in front of him instead - once, twice, waiting for an answer from inside.

"Come in!" came the immediate reply, the throaty voice belonging to the older man was slightly muffled due to the thick door but it was unmistakably firm.

Naruto grasp the doorknob tightly, twisting it as he took an insecure step forward. The door opened, allowing the two young males a better view inside, their eyes locking with the ones of the older man.

"Ah, Naruto-kun… and Mr. Uchiha?" Kakashi looked confused when he saw the dark haired man next to his blond assistant. "I didn't think I would see you that early today."

"Today's my day off," Sasuke repeated his previous lie self-confidently.

"I see," Kakashi narrowed his eyes on the raven suspiciously. "Well, Naruto-kun doesn't have any other appointment for today so we can bring your appointment forward if you like." The silver haired luminary suggested when the kitsune vessel interrupted him, "What do you mean I don't have any other appointments for today?! Then why the hell did I have to run all the way here! You could have just said that he's my only appointment for today and told me that I didn't have to come here before six o'clock!"

"Naruto!" Kakashi warned him. "You are late. I called you because you are late. It's your job to assist me and I want you to be here in time."

"You are never here in time either!" Naruto retorted.

"I won't talk about this with you. Now get into your office and talk with Mr Uchiha instead." Kakashi said sternly. This wasn't any matter he wanted to discuss with the blond. It was his office after all. The blond had no right to tell him when to come or when to leave. Leave… that sounded great to the silver haired man's ears. Seizing his favourite book he decided to do just this: leaving…

Naruto faintly heard the wooden entrance door close behind him, signalising his superior's leaving.

'He always leaves early' the blond thought bitterly as he opened the door to his office, the dark haired man following close behind him.

"Please have a seat," the young psychologist said, turning to close the door behind the other male. The other did as he was told, taking a seat in front of the big desk.

Naruto thought for a second. There were things he needed to discuss with the dark haired male, about the incident earlier that day, but he couldn't do this now. Instead he walked to his own chair and sat down on it, focusing his eyes on the one in front of him.

"How are you feeling today?" Naruto started, business mode on.

"Hn" Sasuke curtly replied. He didn't like the stern Naruto who was only focused on his job and treating him like one of his patients. This wasn't what he wanted to be seen as by Naruto. Deciding to get the blond to see him in a different way than the others, he said the only thing he could think of to achieve his goal.

"How did you like it?" Sasuke asked, folding his hands in front of him and allowing his chin to rest on the newly formed bridge.

"What do you mean?" Naruto focused on a sheet of paper, reading through his information on the dark haired man.

"This." Sasuke didn't think twice as he leaned forward, his upper body hovering over the desk, and his hand caught hold of the slightly younger man's chin, tilting it up.

Naruto stared at the other male completely stunned, his eyes wide open, when their lips locked.

A tongue slid across his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Naruto didn't move. His muscles were stiff from his shock, denying his leave but also denying the tongue entrance to his mouth.

Never someone to admit his failure, Sasuke put his right knee on the desk. Now kneeling on the desk, he stretched his other hand out and slid it under the blonde's shirt, earning a shocked squeal as his fingers pinched the pink nub they found beneath the piece of clothing. That was everything the raven wanted; a chance to put his tongue in the other one's mouth and he gratefully seized it.

'What… What's happening here?' Naruto wondered; his eyes glued to the man in front of him. Sasuke urged him on as he tried to coax the shy tongue to play with his own in a sinful game. He leaned forward more, wanting to feel more of the other's sweet mouth which was slowly but surely intoxicating him. As a result, Naruto leaned back in his chair, wanting to keep a safe distance to the other man. The dark haired male, however, didn't want his prey to escape like that.

Slightly wondering when the blond became his "prey", the raven shrugged it off. He was already too lost in the sensation of the other man's sweet cavern. Sliding his tongue above the one of his counterpart, he finally got a reaction. Naruto bit down on the invading muscle.

"Ouch!" Sasuke yelled when he pushed away from the blond. Crimson red flashed in his obsidian eyes for a second as the raven glared at the fox vessel. "What was that for?!" the Uchiha offspring growled menacingly.

"Never try this again!" Naruto exclaimed against Sasuke while his eyes narrowed on the other occupant of the room threateningly. The kitsune vessel appeared strong and self-conscious when in fact he was just scared. That kiss had been too much like the one in his dream. His mind already reminded him of all the things the Uchiha heir had done to him in his dream and the way his body enjoyed the ministrations. He liked it. And he did like it now… maybe even more than in his dream.

'He kisses really well,' Naruto had to admit, his face blushed at his conclusion before he turned around, facing the window instead of the raven.

Sasuke watched Naruto's reaction. 'His words and reaction don't match…' Sasuke stood where he was, thinking what that was all about. He hardly understood why he kissed the blond in the first part but the younger man's reaction was sheer incomprehensible. How could he, the great Uchiha heir, not understand something? The mere thought of him not understanding a simple – and the reaction of the blond had to be simple – thing like that was ridiculous.

"Look at me!" Sasuke ordered, fretting and fuming by now.

He didn't get any reply.

"Look at me!" Sasuke repeated himself, clenching his fists tightly. The fact that he didn't understand the blond was wholly unacceptable for him and almost driving him mad.

When Naruto didn't reply again, Sasuke jumped down from the desk and landed on the other side, close to Naruto.

"Look at me, damn it!!!" he placed his left hand on the shorter man's shoulder who shrugged it off. "Get out…" the whiskered young man whispered, barely audible.

Although the raven picked up on the words, he refused to hear them.

"What did you say?" the Uchiha heir demanded.

"Get out of here!" Naruto repeated his previous words, louder this time.

"Why?" Sasuke still refused to do what the blond wanted him to do.

"You know very well." Naruto clenched his fists tightly to compensate his head that was now lowered slightly in embarrassment.

Sasuke then understood. He merely stood rooted to where he was, struck by realisation. A few minutes passed in awkward silence before the raven finally said, "You liked it…"

His voice was calm and understanding, it was neither reproachful nor taunting like Naruto thought it would be.

The dark haired man's conclusion shocked Naruto. He really hoped the other man would have left already without having figured him out. Petrified, the kitsune vessel didn't answer. Sasuke smiled a true smile, glad to understand his blond counterpart, as he leaned in to the shorter male. From the corner of his eyes, Naruto could see dark strands of black hair, tickling his cheek. He assumed Sasuke was hidden behind the black curtain of silky raven locks.

"You will come to admit it eventually…" Sasuke whispered softly in Naruto's ear before he was interrupted by the clock on the wall, striking four o'clock.

Pulling away from the blond slightly for another time, the raven's voice held a disappointed undertone. "I'm sorry," he said "but I have to go now."

Naruto watched the raven's retreating back as he closed the door behind him. He should be happy, after all that was what he wanted the raven to do… leave. Why wasn't he then? There was only this dark, nagging feeling deep inside of him. He didn't feel happy, he wasn't overjoyed at the dark haired man's leaving – he felt remorseful…

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**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Long time no see! *dodges the thrown tomatoes*

I know you're angry with me and I'm sorry, really I am.

I didn't know what to write for a long time and I almost gave up on writing altogether, figuring that it 'wasn't meant for me'.

Anything you need to know 'bout this chapter? Oh, maybe the term PICNIC Sasuke used.

**P**roblem  
**I**n  
**C**hair  
**N**ot  
**I**n  
**C**omputer

I guess the rest is clear. ^^

Oh dear… Next week will be awful. I'll write my second Chemistry test on Monday and my second German test on Tuesday. Great, that means I have to read the whole book before Tuesday. Strangely enough, I'm not really worried about Chemistry. As long as I can keep myself in check I can do it, I'm sure.

You know, you know… We were doing a play on Wednesday, we were re-enacting a scene from "The Reader". Everyone had been given a role in the court. I was the public prosecutor so I needed to tell why Hanna was guilty. I won~

Although it was pretty hard sometimes… We were divided into groups of four and I was stuck with two complete morons. One of them seemed to be confused during the process so she decided to act as Hanna's lawyer though it was her job to argue why she's guilty. She only got to talk once. I settled to interrupt her every time she wanted to say something afterwards. I nearly lost because of her… dumbass.

Please stay tuned. (I'm asking a lot of you, I know) ^^"

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	9. STOP: SHORTCUT TO YOUR HEART!

**STOP: SHORTCUT TO YOUR HEART!**

**

* * *

  
**

Sasuke walked down the alley he knew so well, he turned right then left, stepped aside a little to avoid the thrown flowerpot that was sure to come at 4.33 h.

'Yes, they are arguing again.' Sasuke raised his head only to see the silhouette of two figures fighting violently. He looked at the path in front of him again, not thinking twice about the strangers' fight. They used to fight like that weekly. It was their ritual just like this was his.

He knew everything here, everything what was yet to come, and yet he grimaced at the thought of what would happen next. Once he would turn around that corner he would be faced with a crowd of fangirls; _his_ rabid fangirls.

But he turned around the corner anyway, just to be face to face with a mass of female bodies, some carrying signs that would read such things as 'I love you, Sasuke!', 'Marry me, Sasuke!', 'Give me the Uchiha!' and, of course, '§$/§&§%§/$ SASUKE!!!'. Sasuke looked at the horde disgustedly. He would never ever *beep* them. He braced himself for what was to come next, preparing himself for the onslaught, and took a last deep breath.

They knew everything here, everything what was yet to come, and yet they came here every week, hoping that today he would acknowledge their love and would love them back.

It would never happen.

The screaming girls ran towards the raven haired young man who had his eyes closed currently. He concentrated on the sound of their footsteps to make out from where they would attack this time, which was hard because of the noise they were producing but not impossible for an Uchiha.

He dodged the first girl who tried to pounce on him, leaving her to fly straight to the ground instead. He slipped through a small gap as another two girls ran towards him, running over some other girls who now weren't a threat to the raven anymore. Ten other girls cornered him. Sure of their victory, a huge girl pressed him against her breast while four tried to attack him from the right, three tried to do the same from the left and two tried to do so from behind him.

Sasuke, who held his breath until now, exhaled, succeeding in making him a bit thinner to allow his escape of the deathly hug. Skilfully, the raven haired man jumped up high, using the shoulders of the girl in front of him as catapult, and flew above the girl's head. The other girls ran into the huge girl where, just a few seconds ago, Sasuke was being held in a death grip. Just as he landed on the ground elegantly, another girl ran towards him. Sasuke simply extended his hand, keeping her on distant and - quite possibly - breaking her nose as she ran against the palm of the pale man. Then suddenly he felt hands grabbing his leg tightly. The young man stared down, shocked at the sudden touch.

"Finally… You're mine, Sasuke-kun!" The red haired girl gripping his leg exclaimed. Blood drip down her face, showing that she was one of the girls that had been run over from the stampede of fangirls.

"Never." Sasuke threw his hands to the ground with full force, flipping over and sending the girl that was still attached to his leg on a free flight to Alaska or to the next wall - which was more likely - but Sasuke didn't care. Either way was fine with him.

There were only four girls left who circled around him like a predator would his prey.

"You're…" The first girl yelled while trying to jump on the Uchiha.

"…mine…" The second girl cried, also trying to pounce on her prey.

"…Sasuke…" The third girl exclaimed, attacking the young man.

"…kun…!" The last girl joined the chorus while trying to get a piece of the Uchiha for herself.

Though not being Chuck Norris, Sasuke roundhouse kicked them all like Chuck Norris would a ninja troop (Chuck Norris Note: HE ISN'T CHUCK NORRIS!).

Coming to a halt when the last girl slid down to the ground from her uncomfortable spot at - or better yet: in - the wall, Sasuke exhaled a sigh of relief.

He looked back briefly, taking in the picture of female bodies covering the ground. This wasn't what Chuck Norris was supposed to do.

Glad that he wasn't Chuck Norris, Sasuke continued his merry walk to his appointment.

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Naruto was tapping his chin with his pencil, still in the same room where Sasuke and he kissed.

'This is no good', Naruto thought to himself 'he's my patient. I mustn't do that. He… I… we… we can't be together like that. This wasn't supposed to happen and never shall happen again.'

'But… I liked it…' Naruto thought sadly, feeling guilty that he actually liked being kissed by a man, by his patient, by him... by Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto snarled.

"It's his fault! It was all his fault! He kissed me in the first place!" Naruto stood up, exclaiming loudly in his rage. "I'll make him pay for this!"

Naruto stomped out of the office, past a seemingly nonchalant Hatake Kakashi, and out of the house and down the street. He didn't know where the raven haired man went to but he was determined to find him and make him pay.

Kakashi looked up from his little orange novel to the clock on the wall in front of him.

"4.35 h…" Kakashi mumbled "He left too early again."

He flipped over the page he was reading.

"Well, I'll make him pay for that." He said calmly as he focused on the next page.

Outside the fuming blond was making his way through the crowd, looking for any signs of the raven haired man.

"I'll kill him when I find him!" Naruto muttered to no one in particular.

"Then I'll clone him and kill his clone!" Naruto walked faster, clenching fists tightly. "That bastard!"

"Yo, shortie? Ya got some time? Wanna go with ma friends and me?" Some stranger, who was oblivious to the danger of talking to the enraged blond, asked.

Naruto came to a sudden halt, glaring at the stranger. "Look, either you get your ugly face out of my private space or I'll kick your ass out of the city!" Naruto shouted. He was in no mood to deal with that guy and surely wouldn't be able to cool down before he found the raven haired man he was looking for.

"Aww… Ya hurt me, shortie. I just wanted to spend some time with ya 'cuz ya look cool, man. But if ya dun wanna, that's fine with ma, too. I'll tell ya friend ya won't join us." The stranger faked a hurt look, turning around, his hands buried in his pockets.

"Wait! You know Sasuke? Where's the bastard?" Naruto grabbed the stranger's arm, preventing him from leaving.

The stranger's smirk was hidden from the blond man. When he turned around to face Naruto his face was blank.

"Sure I do. Shall I bring ya to him?" The stranger's voice was sweetly sick.

Naruto nodded, his rage clouded his mind so that he didn't see the trap he was walking into as he followed the stranger.

He was leading him down the street into a narrow back alley, further and further away from public view, unknowingly choosing the same way Sasuke did a few minutes ago.

In a small backyard, the stranger came to a sudden halt, making Naruto bump into him.

"So? Where's Sasuke?" Naruto asked irritated. He had walked miles to find the raven and was determined to beat the shit out of him for everything he had to go through now.

"Who's Sasuke?" the stranger turned around, grinning widely.

It was just then that Naruto realized the trap he walked into unknowingly.

"Crap!" Naruto cursed. "You don't know Sasuke!"

The stranger laughed menacingly, "Ya truly slow, ain't ya?"

Naruto backed off as the stranger approached him.

"What do you want with me?" Naruto asked, willing to fight if he had to.

"Some fun, Uzumaki Naruto." The stranger's grin grew wider. "Or should I call ya 'Kyuubi'?"

Naruto froze when he heard that name from the stranger's mouth.

"Who told you…?!" Naruto started, shocked, but was interrupted all of a sudden.

"Naruto!" a familiar voice shouted.

Naruto's head flew towards the source of the shouting voice. "Sasuke!"

The stranger also looked his direction, his grin fading. "So sad, we won't have any fun now it seems."

He turned to take his leave as Sasuke approached the two but before he left, he whispered something into Naruto's ear. Then, without any other word, he left.

"Naruto!" Sasuke said as he finally stood in front of the younger blond man. "Are you o…" Sasuke never got to finish his question as a fist collided with his cheek. The raven haired man rubbed his red cheek soothingly, eyes wide with shock.

"What was that for?" the Uchiha heir inquired angrily.

"Where were you?" Naruto asked back. "I… no… I mean you… I… We…" Naruto stuttered confused as he tried to form a sentence that would express his feelings, thoughts, concern and to top it all: be nice.

"Speak properly, dobe." Sasuke hissed. He was pissed. After all he was concerned about the blonde's safety when he saw the blond talking to that suspicious guy he didn't look comfortable around and Naruto hit him without any reason.

"We mustn't see again." Naruto said sternly. He hoped there were other words he could say. Not harsh words that would hurt them both but he figured that sometimes it's best to hurt each other than to fake harmony.

"What?" Sasuke asked, utterly confused. "Why?"

"… You kissed me." Naruto locked gazes with obsidian eyes that held a pool of various emotions: confusion, curiosity, anger, fear and concern and Naruto knew that he was the reason for all these emotions but he also knew what he was supposed to do next, what he had to say.

"I'm your psychologist and you're my patient. That's why we can't be together like that." While saying this, Naruto tried to convince himself of his words.

'It's the truth… It's the best for both of us…' Naruto thought sadly. 'We aren't meant to be.'

"Do you honestly just think of me as your patient?" Sasuke asked, taking a step forward closer to the blond.

"… Yes." Naruto said, forcing himself to believe this lie and hoping that Sasuke would believe it too.

"Really?" the raven took another step forward, causing the two bodies to actually touch.

"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed louder. "You're just my patient!"

"Then tell me, dear doctor, why can't we see each other again?" Sasuke asked, angry at the obvious lie of the blond who was so dear to him.

"I just told you! You obviously want something else from me than just my help. Whether you want a one-night-stand or a relationship, I don't know and I don't care. Even if you kissed me as a joke, let me tell you this: It wasn't funny!" Naruto yelled, telling another lie. He did care what the reason was. He wanted to know. More than that, he needed to know why the raven kissed him.

"'_A joke_'?! You think I could kiss you as a joke?!" Sasuke yelled back. The mere thought of him kissing someone as a joke was ridiculous. He wasn't the type of guy who could kiss someone as easily as that.

Seeing the fear in the blonde's azure eyes at his angry voice, he forced himself to calm down a bit.

"Do you really think that low of me?" he asked disappointedly.

"Sasuke, I…" Naruto started, contemplating his answer "always hated you."

With that Naruto turned and left the raven alone in the backyard. Sasuke didn't follow him. Instead he turned his eyes to the ground, not daring to look up, not wanting to see the person he loved most leave him.

'He… hates me…' the Uchiha heir thought sadly as the world shattered around him.

'It's the best for both of us.' Naruto thought sadly, his footsteps were echoing loudly from the stony walls in the almost empty backyard as he remembered the words of the stranger.

"What would Sasuke say if he knew your little secret?"

* * *

**Error log file** (also known as Author's note):

Finally an update…

Please don't hate me.

I know I suck at updating my stories fast.

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who reads the story and writes review.

It always helps me and encourages me to write (though I'm as slow as a turtle when it comes to actually update the stories).

So what about the chapter?

Did you like it?

It was pretty sad at the end, no?

I tried to describe a fight scene which I failed greatly.

Strangely enough it reminded me a lot of Sasuke's and Naruto's fight at the Valley of Death. When I first watched it on TV it used to remind me of Chuck Norris (MAYOR MIGHTY MOUSE ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! lol).

I should be careful not to get roundhouse kicked myself.

I imagined the stranger to be Mizuki (though the way of his talking doesn't match Mizuki).

What about you?

Did you have any special character on mind?

Since it wasn't that important who the stranger actually was I didn't describe him.

What do you think Sasuke did?

What was so important that he had to leave early?

What's Naruto's secret?

Will they meet again?

You see, there are many questions and I'll try to answer them all but currently I'm really busy (jeez, I need a laptop to write in school).

Hah! That would be interesting!

Writing fanfictions while I'm supposed to write a test…

Besides, Utopia will soon celebrate its 100th release and I'm still worrying about how to celebrate it. ^ ^"

I bought many doujinshi to make sure we can celebrate the 100th release as soon as possible but I still don't know a way how to celebrate it.

I must be an idiot.

Ja, mata ne.


End file.
